Yuki's Cunning Plans To Kill Kyo
by Princess Unicorn123
Summary: Yuki comes up with a variety of ideas to kill Kyo Sohma! Chapter 2- Minty Death! It IS possible to be killed by mintyness!
1. Chapter 1

# Banana #  
So...I'm bored. And I wanna kill Kyo.  
So...

Yuki's cunning plan to kill Kyo #1

The Banana Yuki looked at Kyo smiling."What is up with you?!" Kyo said looking scared. Yuki...was being nice! Yuki held out a yellow fruit."Would you like a banana Kyo?" He asked politely.  
Kyo shook his head."No. Definitely no. Its probably poisoned!" He said backing away. We smiled creepily."Oh Kyo...its not poisoned. That I can guaranteed that!" He said darkly.  
Kyo backed away. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kyo shouted. Yuki stepped closer to Kyo." !" He demanded. Kyo backed away quickly."Hell no!" He shouted. He ran away screaming madly. Yuki ran after him.

Kyo hid in the wardrobe shaking slightly."What is up with that damn rat?" He muttered. Then Kyo heard footsteps."Kyo?" Yuki called."Your not very good at hiding are you." Yuki pulled open the wardrobe."Hey!" Kyo greeted."I was just...visiting Narnia! I'll be off now!" He pushed past Yuki and ran downstairs. Yuki chased after him.

Kyo glanced around."I finally lost him! Thank God!" He said sitting down under a tree.

"Sneak attack!"

Yuki leapt on Kyo tackling him to the ground." .Banana!" Yuki ordered. Kyo struggled."NEVER!" He screamed. Yuki put Kyo in a headlock. "Eat the *bleeping* banana!" Yuki shouted. Kyo shook his head."NOOOOO!" He screamed. Yuki shoved the banana in his open mouth.

It exploded. Kyo died. I cheer.  
The End.

:D hehehe this is dedicated to the Characters Death. I DID IT!  



	2. Chapter 2

# Minty Death #  
Chapter 1 was short. So...I'll try to write more.

Oh! I do not own Fruits Baskets. I just make them die constantly.

Yuki's Cunning Plan to Kill Kyo #2 Minty DEATH

Kyo was kinda suspicious of Yuki after that whole "exploding banana incident" He was brushing his teeth when Yuki walked in the bathroom. Kyo stiffened. Yuki smiled warmly.

Oh. *bleep*.

Kyo continued to brush his teeth. He watched Yuki carefully. Then Yuki smeared toothpaste all over his face.

"What the HELL!" Kyo shouted. Yuki smiled."Killing you with toothpaste." He answered. Kyo felt his cheeks tingling. "What?" He snapped. Yuki smirked."The mintyness of the toothpaste will DESTROY you!" He shouted.  
Kyo's cheeks went numb. Then they burned. THEY BURNED! "Ahh! So MINTY! SO MINTY!" Kyo screamed. His face was in AGONY! The mint was soooo cold! Then he froze to death.  
Yuki looked suprised. "It actually worked!" He said in wonder."It is possible to die from mintyness."

The End.  
Seriously...rubbing toothpaste on your face is BAD! My face was numb for HOURS!

Bonus Chapter- Paperclip

Kyo was hiding in the wardrobe again. Yuki was coming for him again. And this time...

He had a paperclip.

Yuki stood outside the wardrobe."The stupid cat wouldn't hide in there twice would he?" Yuki said. Kyo froze. He was onto him. Damn. Yuki laughed."No ones THAT stupid!" He chuckled. He walked away.

Kyo sighed in relief. That was close! "Hello Kyo." A familiar voice said next to him. Damn. "How?" Kyo asked looking scared. "Art of the doppelganger, bitch!" Yuki said. He stabbed Kyo in the neck with the paperclip. "Assasin style!" Yuki cheered.

Tohru looked worried."Uh...Kyo's died." She said. Shigure shrugged."He'll respawn in. a second!"

The End

Hehehehe! Die! DIE! The Characters Death said I should do the paperclip! What should I do next? 


	3. Chapter 3

# Fish death #  
So...I think I'll have to update this! I just love punishing Kyo!

Chapter 3- Pokemon.

Kyo was sitting in his room. He was listening to some sort of angsty rock band. Then Yuki came in. "Hey...whats with the hat?" Kyo asked. Yuki was wearing a red cap. He also was wearing a black wig. Yuki smiled."Oh...nothing much...just...you know...POKEMON! ATTACK!" Kyo ran from a huge swarm of Pokemon."Hey! What the hell!" Kyo shouted. He really hated that rat. Kyo tripped. The pokemons attacked. "Pika, pika bitch!" Pikachu said as he/she/it killed Kyo. (This was Maxwellsfanfic idea. I do not know anything about Pokemon.)

Chapter 4- Fish. Kyo was scared. Sooooo scared. That rat was at it again. And this time...he had a fish! Kyo sweated nervously. Why oh why, did the author hate him so much? (Because you suck.) Why did he always have to die?(Because I hate you.) Yuki opened the door."Hello my dear Kyo!" He greeted. He held a massive fish. Oh. God.  
Kyo screamed and jumped out the window...only to get speared on the swordfish at the bottom. Ha. In. Your. Face. 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! This is just a quick note! Please add me on Facebook! My name is Princess Sohma!

Thanks!

Princess Unicorn

P.S I'm getting kik too! My name will probably be Princess Unicorn123


	5. Chapter 5

# Unicorn #  
Thanks for the reviews! I love you guys! Xxx

Chapter 5 Yukiru.

Kyo was sitting on the computer. He was minding his own business when Yuki came in. This didn't look good. "Hello Kyo." Yuki said."How are you?" Kyo glared at him. Yuki walked out the room. Kyo sighed in relief. Then, Tohru and Yuki came back in. Tohru looked a little confused."What did you want to tell me Yuki-kun?" She asked.  
Yuki gazed into her eyes lovingly."I wanted to tell you...I love you." Yuki said softly."I think your the most wonderful person in the world. You make me so happy. I love you." Then Yuki kissed Tohru. And Kyo exploded. Success.

Chapter 6 Unicorn.

Something wasn't right. Kyo knew that straight away. Maybe it was because Yuki was riding on a unicorn.  
"What the hell!" Kyo shouted. Yuki smiled."ATTACK!" Yuki cried. The unicorn charged. Kyo ran as fast as he could. He climbed a tree. Kyo sighed."Safety!" He said happily. Then Princess Unicorn hit him with a frying pan. Unicorns rule.

I love writing this! So much fun! 


	6. Chapter 6

**hey! new chappie! :) **

Chapter 7: Candle

Kyo was hiding. In Yuki's room to be precise. It was the last place the rat would look...

He heard the door open. The idiot! Of course Yuki would go to HIS room! Kyo braced himself as the door opened...

"Hello, Kyo..." Yuki said calmly. Kyo blinked. What? No beatings? Then he noticed the candle in Yuki's hand. Damn.

Yuki threw water on him. Wait...water doesn't smell like gasoline...

Oh crap.

Yuki threw the candle on the panicking cat."Ah! Help!" Kyo screamed. Yuki looked at Kyo thoughtfully."Um...let me think about that...oh...tough question...no." Yuki said shortly. Kyo was running about the room with his hair on fire."Oh...you have got flaming red hair haven't you?" Yuki remarked.

"Shut up! Help me!" Kyo shouted.

"Don't be such a hot head Kyo." Yuki said smirking."I always knew you had a flaming temper."

THE END

chapter 8- Gorilla

Kyo was confused. That was understandable as there was a gorilla in his room."Ahhhhh!" Kyo screamed. He ran away from the massive primate. The gorilla followed him crashing through the house."SHIGURE! HELP!" Kyo screamed at his cousin. Shigure glanced up."...no..." He said before going back to his book.

Kyo glared at the dog and kept gorilla followed.

Several minutes later, the house was full of a tip. And Kyo was sadly...without his face. Shame...

"When he respawns he can tidy this up." Shigure said happily.

the end

**well...what do you guys think!? The gorilla was my idea but you can thank RPNicole for the candle one! Is there any other fire based jokes in can add in later? Please leave them in the reviews!**


End file.
